The truth is I have simply been ridiculously busy. I go to school from 9am-5pm everyday and most evenings I work at a movie theater in town from 6-11:30pm. Talk about tiring! On the nights I don't work, I spend time with my family and friends and writing seems to fall to the wayside. There are a few other things going on too with my asshole of a father but I had a day off yesterday from both jobs and had a peaceful minute alone so I finished chapter 6 FINALLY! If you have been reading my Cloti fanfic, stop what you are doing, and go read the newest chapter NOW! Why are you still reading this meaningless Journal entry? GO READ CURVE BALL!
Ok for those of you not reading my fic, first of all you should, but if not then continue to read this You may have noticed that I posted a poem as well. yes I do that too! I don't write much poetry because it takes something pretty heavy to inspire me to write it. Last time I wrote a poem was when I broke up with my boyfriend of 3 years...thats how big I'm talking...But, I have fallen for a guy I work with at the theater, and he makes my heart do quite the somersaults...and...well...it sucks quite frankly. Why? Well because of course he has a girlfriend. I tend to do these things to myself. I always get minor crushes that quickly go away on guys that are available and totally in my reach. And I fall head over heels in love with the guys that are totally unattainable. It pisses me off! But it doesn't matter.
This guy is as perfect as they come basically...on the physical side, He is about 4 inches taller than me (very important lol) has amazing teeth and a smile that makes me melt, big hands, dimples, and lots of muscle. But more importantly, he is a genuinely terrific person. He is a gentleman, opens doors, carries heavy things for me and always ALWAYS goes out of his way to say hello and goodbye if we are working at the same time. He makes me smile more than should be humanly possible and he cares about my feelings. Only flipping downside the guy has is this stupid freaking girlfriend! ugh! Ive decided to wait it out for a while...I figure that maybe during Christmas break I can win him over since his girlfriend wont be here...So longs story made short, I wrote a poem about him...there will almost definitely be more to come....
Ok. Thats over I swear! On to other important matters...I got a PSP for Christmas and my mom even got me...CRISIS CORE!!!! Omg can you imagine how excited I was? Probably not...but I was really really really excited! Problem is that its a joint present with my sister and of course the younger sibling always gets what they want first so she has been playing it non stop since we got it But sooner or later Ill get my chance! lol. I have been playing Kingdom Hearts 358/2 days while I wait and I loooooove it! Its by far my favorite KH game to date...except maybe KHII...but Im pretty sure Birth By Sleep will beat them both. WHy? well duh! Its got my husband in it! thats right...Zack Fair is going to be in KH: BBS! Cannot WAIT!
So yeah...basically that's my life in a nutshell right now...pretty boring but extremely busy. Hopefully it wont be as long til my next update...Im going to try to take a day off again soon...but until then, keep in touch and comment my stuff! Ill love you forever and ever if ya do
oh yeah...I want to take a poll...Whats the largest age difference you would consider dating. Like, I am 22 years old in February...Whats the oldest and youngest I could date in your opinion? Haha random I know, but its a debate Im having with a friend and I would love your opinion on the matter Thanks in advance!
Omg I can't believe I forgot to tell you all about my trip to Chicago this last weekend!!!!! I went to Chicago Saturday night to see Nobuo Uematsu and Arnie Roth (if you dont know who they are then shame on you...look them up and fall in love like I did Live in concert with the Chicagoland Orchestra performing the most loved Final Fantasy Songs of all time!!!! Let me just tell you....I cried and got goose bumps during almost every song! Espcially of course the Final Fantasy VII songs. They did several but my favorite was definitely J-E-N-O-V-A and...wait for it...you guessed it...ONE WINGED ANGEL!!!! I seriously almost passed out during it! Nobuo himself played the organ during it and the guitarist and bassist were so awesome too! It was one of the most fantastic experiences of my entire life! I have a million pictures and videos I will be uploading into my scraps and youtube probably but I will post a link for everyone
Author: Sizzchick3431
words: 3000ish
Warnings: Minor language and very slight sexual innuendos.
Disclaimer: I do not own the characters...just these words.
Author note: I am sooooo sorry it has been so long since my last update! I feel horrible about it. Long story short I have been working non stop between school and my job and on top of all that, my dad is being a real pain and causing some problems for my mom and I. But all is well I guess...I'm glad I'm such a big girl lol. So anyway, I finally finished chapter 6 in a way that I think I like it. Its still not quite what I had in mind but it works. Enjoy :) and as always comments are very much appreciated!
Chapter 6
The creak of the front door opening catches me a little off guard. I hadn't expected her to get here so quickly, but then again I had no idea where she had actually been when the kids called her; apparently she had been fairly close. I continue cleaning the last few dishes from the breakfast the kids had made. They had made quite the mess, but they had just been trying to help. I hear the door close and Marlene streaks through the kitchen past me, squealing with joy as I rinse a glass.
( 'You just get downstairs and help your boyfriend run my bar, ok?' )
- Mood:dorky
Ok well my laptop is actually fine...but the charger is broken so I have no way of using it right now 
It will be at least 2 days until it is fixed. I am having to use my mom's crappy Dell until then and it is KILLING ME!!!!! I hate it! Everything is soooooo slow and backwards! UGH! 
So anywho....this means it will be a little longer until I can post chapter 6 of the FanFan...I'm sorry it's taking me so long! There is actually a chapter written for 6...but I am having problems getting it posted because of something that happened this week...allow me to explain:
All of my FF7 life [
] I have been a HUGE CloTi shipper. I believe that Cloud and Tifa were and are meant to be together but Aerith and Sephiroth and life in general keep getting in the way. My introduction to FF7 was, like most people I have found, a little backward. What I mean is, I watched Advent Children before I knew anything about the game, and then I read a summary of the game [which I later found out was written by a Clerith shipper 
] It wasn't until fairly recently that I was actually able to purchase the game and play it (I JUST finished it this week)....This is a horrible thing I admit. Because of this, especially the FF7 summary full of Clerith biases, my entire FF7 life has been lived under the assumption that Tifa and Cloud were attracted to each other, but because of Cloud's guilt and love for Aerith, they were not able to be together...They just had this awkward tension between each other that was caused by things that were never said out loud. [aka I LOVE YOU! 
]So Advent Children took care of Cloud's guilt over Aerith's death but in my mind, at least from what I had been led to believe, he still had this leftover love for her standing in his way. So I started writing this fanfic to get rid of that love for Aerith. The entire fanfic was meant to be a typical CloTi story...Cloud broods over his relationship with Aerith while he longs to be with Tifa until something tragic/unexpected happens and he is finally forced to speak now or forever hold his peace. So that is what it has been so far. Problem is....I finished the game last week and really started thinking about the fact that the creators gave the player the options of being more interested in Aerith OR Tifa and depending on what dialog you choose, the scenes with each girl are varied. Especially the scene under the Highwind. I personally chose the Tifa responses throughout the game, so his relationship with Aerith was low and with Tifa high (as opposed to the summary I had read that chose the opposite) So when the Highwind scene came, Cloud waivers on the edge of telling Tifa he has feelings for her before she tells him that sometimes actions speak louder than words...blah blah blah...we all have our own opinions of what that means...
Then I re-read On the Way to a Smile and started to think about the things written there, this time without the pre-assumption that Cloud had strong feelings for both girls and that his feelings for Aerith were his reason for leaving and such. I began to realize that in each 'Case' there are significant hints that Cloud and Tifa are in fact IN a RELATIONSHIP after Advent Children. That they are indeed DATING while living together before Cloud finds Denzel and before he leaves the bar. I could go on and on explaining myself but I found an essay that pretty much says everything that I started to discover on my own...so just read it if you get the chance...its basically like this guy could read my mind!
thelifestream.net/compilation-of-final-f
Anyway....long story short...now that all of this 'thinking' has happened...it has completely changed my way of viewing the actions of Advent Children and certainly what I think happened after the last scene. While I still think that Cloud would have gone to the church to tell Aerith that he didn't love her ever, I don't think that it would have been for the sake of Tifa or their relationship...it would have just been to allow Aerith to be with Zack. So now I am stuck with a story line that I no longer believe and its frustrating. But nonetheless I feel like I can still finish it...It will just take a little more time to make it work.
WOW! That was a ramble...and I have no idea if it makes sense...but oh well. That is all
- Mood:grumpy
I am so depressed! UGH!
UGH UGH UGH!!!!
I just finished watching Vampire Knight
I seriously could just punch someone! 
What the crap!!!! How can you end a series like that!?!??! It was so sad! I probably would have been happier if I liked Kaname but ugh I kinda can't stand that guy! I mean sure, he's hot. But he is also conniving, controlling, manipulative, hurtful, selfish, and down right mean sometimes! Sure he says he loves Yuuki, but can't he see he is hurting her? I mean come on! It seems to me that the only thing he really cares about is being with her, no matter who it hurts, even if it's her. [I can't help but seeing a lot of parallels between VK and the Twilight Saga...which I also love. It was brought to my attention that Kaname, as described here, sounds surprisingly similar to Edward Cullen. Yes, it is very true! They both love the girls so much that they accidently lose sight of the fact that their love/control is smothering and hurting them. The only thing I see differently, is that some of Kaname's intentions seem to be not so great...he seems to be using Zero AND Yuuki throughout. Whereas Edward never uses Bella and when Jacob is needed, he always gives him a choice in the matter. Zero never has a choice... :( ]
UGH! There better be another season! I will be so upset if it's over here. She deserves to be with Zero...no better yet..Zero deserves to be with Yuuki! Zero is just amazing! As messed up as his life is, and as torn up and shattered as his heart has become, he still loves Yuuki and literally would give his life for her to be safe and happy. And damn it! He deserves a little happiness too! He never got a single bit of happiness in that whole thing! 26 episodes and he never smiled a single time! UGH!
Ok...rant over. I just feel so...weighed down with saddness for Zero! I think I need to go watch Ouran HS Host Club to make myself feel better. There is nothing a little Hikaru and Kyoya can't fix
Maybe after that I will get back to writing a few more chapters on my FFVII CloTi fanfic...motivation has been low. I'll fill you in on why later... 
On that note...Sayounara!
- Mood:aggravated
Author: Sizzchick3431
Length: around 2500 words
Rating: T (for language sake I'm upping the rating.)
Pairings and Characters: This chapter includes Zack and Cloud but the pairings are Cloud/TIfa, Zack/Aerith. Not Yaoi.
Summary: This chapter took me forever to finally post. It was so hard to make myself write it. Cloud finally has to say one last goodbye before he can go back and make things right with Tifa.
Where is it that path? Has it always been this far out? This familiar drive seems to be taking a thousand times longer today than it ever has before, probably due to my eagerness to get back home. As I drive, the ache in my chest throbs, reminding me of the ache I had felt when I awoke from my dream that night, the dream that had started all of this. As soon as my mind starts to wander, I suddenly see it; just ahead, on a short ledge along the rocks, I see the last remaining physical evidence of the bravest man I ever knew. I rev Fenrir again and nearly fly over the last remaining distance between the old buster sword and me.
- Mood:accomplished
Title: I promise
Author: sizzchick3431
Rating: K+ (some minor language)
Word count: 3000ish.
Summary: This chapter is from Tifa's point of view. After Cloud leaves, Tifa has a hard time working through her emotions, Denzel sheds some light on the situation, and an old 'friend' is called in for a favor.
“Damn him!” I kick the bedpost and immediately regret it. I wince in pain as my toe throbs inside my boot. “Ugh! Tifa, why the hell do you let Cloud Strife get to you like this! He is an asshole! Stubborn, selfish, confusing, clueless and…” I sigh and sit down on the bed. “…absolutely perfect in everyway.” My head falls into my hands as I try to catch my breath, which is still strained from my sprint up the stairs in tears. Even without the extra activity my breath would have been labored; it always is when I think about Cloud. Why does he have this effect on me?
Stop Running Chapter 3
Title: She Loves You
Author: Sizzchick3431
Rating: K+
Length: Around 1900 words
Summary: Ok so in this chapter, Cloud is driving across the landscape on the way to finish his last piece of un-finished business. He is recalling the events of the past months that have led him to take this trip including a heated fight with Tifa.
I pass through the gate into the wide barren landscape and immediately open the throttle. Aahhhh. This feels so good. I inhale deeply, taking in the fresh, un-polluted air. As I fly over the rocky terrain, I begin to think about the events that had led to today’s trip. This month after the ‘Reunion’ has been a learning experience full of trial and error.
When we had gotten home that night, after sitting and talking for a few hours with all of our friends who had come back to the bar to celebrate with us, I offered to put the kids to bed. Denzel had asked me to explain Geostigma to him and about my battle with Kadaj and Sephiroth. I explained everything I knew and gave him a run down of the fight. I expected it to frighten him some, but to my surprise he had just looked at me seriously and said, “I’m just glad you are home,” before rolling over and dozing off. My heart warmed and I ruffled his hair. Me too.
Title: Let's Go Home
Author: Sizzchick3431
Rating: K+
Length: around 1600 words
Warnings: None
Summary: This is the next chapter after 'Ripples'. This chapter is a flashback of what happened directly after the last scene in Advent Children so it actually happens before chapter one. Read, Review, and Enjoy :)
I drive through the mangled streets of Midgar much too fast, impatient to get out of the city and into the flat open landscape that lies past Edge where I can really let loose. I feel like flying! I can’t believe how much lighter I feel; it’s strange to think that saying goodbye had caused this feeling. Aerith was right after all. As I swerve through the rubble left over from the damaged caused by Kadaj and his brothers, my mind wanders back to the large pool of water. With children splashing and celebrating the end of that nightmare one month ago, I hear her words in my mind again but this time I truly believe them….
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Title: Ripples
Author: Sizzchick3431
Rating: K+
Length: around 1600 words
Warnings: None.
Authors Comments: I was watching FFVII:AC and for some odd reason, seeing as I have never written fiction in my LIFE, I was inspired to write this little one shot. Set about a month after AC. Since it's my first attempt, please comment and let me know how it is! I feel like Cloud and Aerith are in character but let me know what you think! Pleeeeease :)
Fenrir growls loudly as I skid to a halt, sending gravel and dirt into the air. I cut the engine but do not dismount. Now that I am here I wonder why I came. I close my eyes and hear Tifa’s words clearly in my head, “Which is it? A memory or us?” The broken look in her eyes still lingers in my mind, and the pain and pleading in her voice tugs on the very core of my heart. That’s why I’m here; I’m here to make the pain end.
( Read more...please! )
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